Once upon a rainy day...

It’s raining today. Again. I like everyone can hear the thunder. Or… can i? I guess I can. What I can’t hear are the voices in my head. I’m not surprised… there are so many voices that it is difficult to understand what each one of them is saying.

Or is it me. Not those voices. Do I not want to hear what they have to say? Probably. Why? I did ask myself that. Not once. Many times…. Over and over again. No…. I haven’t got my answer yet.

But you know something? I’m not sure if I even want the answers as yet. Won’t finding the answers be even more confusing? More disturbing than the disturbed state of mind I am in now?

Answers are never easy. Never more than the questions themselves. I know you disagree… but you see... the questions come so easily to the mind.. not the answers.. that we all look for.

Am I not right? When did you last experience a solution to your problem in the blink of an eyelid? While the questions and problems were just pouring in like water in the mouth of a thirsty man living in the desert?

When we have a problem, friends and family tell us that we ought to think of those who have more and bigger problems than us, then we would't find our problems so huge.

But tell me honestly … when you give an understanding nod to them, do you seriously think they’re making any sense anyway?

Nah! I don’t think so. How can you possibly be thinking of someone’s problem about whom you don’t even have any clue and when you have problems of your own to deal with?

It’s doesn’t make any sense. So why all the pretence of understanding the problem and realising that it’s not that big; that it happens to everyone once in a while and that it’s ok.

It’s not ok. Who decides that? You. No. you did not the people around you did. Because they cannot understand let alone feel your pain. And it will not be ok unless your heart and mind co-ordinate to tell you that.